#FantasySmutFriday, 2 is better than 1

I have been following these challenges for a while, but with nothing to write about. Finally a topic I could drive right into. Here goes, my submission for “2 is better than one” it’s a work of fiction based on a dream I had (modified it though).

Andrew stepped out of the shower.

He thought he had heard some mild mumbling while the shower poured down on him.

His body drenched wet and a towel around his waist, to his dismay, Andrew was greeted by his Uncle Steven, accompanied by two young women sitting on his bed.

His uncle held out a big white box.

“Happy Birthday!!! My dear Andrew, you are 23… You’ve got a gift”

Yes, it was his birthday indeed, but Andrew wasn’t expecting anyone. Andrew worked in his uncle’s firm, he has been for a year. He lived in a studio apartment his uncle paid for, and drove a car his uncle had bought him.

The one thing that annoyed Andrew, was that old uncle Steven had the keys to his apartment. And he didn’t mind dropping by. Nevertheless, Andrew was grateful for the job he had. It could pay up his father’s debt.

Andrew noticed the two women looking keenly at his wet body.

“These young ladies have been dying to wish you, I’m going to leave you with them.. now be nice…” said Uncle Steven as he left the apartment.

The door was shut…

Andrew watched nervously as the two women pulled up a smirk. One of them opened up the box to reveal a white creamy cake.

“Hi, I’m Samantha.. this here is my friend Anita” the woman in the maroon sari spoke.

Just as Andrew could cough up something to say, Anita walked across and tugged the towel from his waist exposing him bare to the ladies.

“Whathafuck!!!! you just”

Andrew cupped his palms and covered his genitals as the women giggled. Anita stepped closer, grabbed Andrew by the face and kissed him hard. Energy burst right into his soul as he slowly let go of his genital and moved his palms around Anita’s waist.

Samantha, the short little demon, took a chunk of cake and slammed it hard at Andrew’s groin. Then proceeding to evenly spread the cold icing across his shaft. He felt a surge of electricity move from the tip of his shaft to the back of his spin. Anita let go Andrew’s face as Samantha knelt down between his legs, smearing more of that cake, with a tiny spoon the naughty lass carefully spread some of it on his sack.

“There you go, all iced and ready to feed on” Samantha commented.

With every stroke of the spoon, Andrew shivered as he silently watched Anita undress, first unraveling her sari, and then unbuckling her blouse followed by her panties that fell to the floor.  There were now two naked people in the room. Well, technically Andrew was wearing his birthday cake icing to be precise.

Samantha pushed Andrew to the bed. “Lie down… relax.. Anita is dying for some cake..”

He did as he was instructed to, and seconds later watched in sheer amazement as young Anita began to eat up the chunks of cake smeared on his penis. He felt a second surge, stronger than the last. She licked and sucked off the icing. Wiped her mouth and climbed on top. “Let’s drive this son of a bitch down”

Samantha hurriedly blindfolded him, and the two girls re-positioned themselves. Andrew couldn’t tell, what the women were up to, but the next moment he felt immense weight come down on his groin. Anita began to ride him, and ride him she did indeed. With swift circular motion she churned her hips letting Andrew feel her deeper. The two moaned pleasurably until Samantha thought she too needed some of the action. Picking up a large chunk of cake she held it between her thigh and sat down hard on Andrew’s face. In a bid to survive the 23 year old, ate up the cake he was force fed with. It was all a mixture of cold cake icing, sweaty thighs, wet buttocks and a warm clit. After awhile he couldn’t really tell which hole he had gotten his tongue into, his face had gone numb.

The two women gyrated their hips and moaned in unison for a couple of minutes, while Andrew.. poor Andrew had a mouthful to bear with.

Unable to hold himself back, he felt a vicious outburst of energy radiate from his body and out of his groin. He stopped shivering and retired motionless.

Anita and Samantha lifted themselves off and began to clean up. Andrew steadily lifted his head and took off the mask. The two ladies looked curiously at him as he struggled to get himself together.

His face and groin both smeared with icing and body fluids.

“Well, now I need another shower…” he spoke in an exhausted tone

As Andrew walked back to the bathroom, the women shouted out “Can we join???”

A smirk filled Andrew’s face.. this was a good birthday after all.





Top 10 Blink 182 tracks


June 1st 2019 could have been any ordinary Saturday for most of us humans (and Aliens), but for some, it was something to reflect on. Because June 1st marked 20 years since the Californian pop-punk trio – Blink 182 released their ever so loved, breakthrough album ‘Enema of the State’.

Two things to reflect upon for me, one being I took so long (2 months) to compile my top 10 list of Blink tracks, and the other being – “How the fuck is it 20 years??? When did I grown so old??? Dammit!!!”

I am a Blink 182 fan (read as One Eighty Two not One Hundred Eighty Two) but probably more like a Blink-Tom-Delonge-era 182 fan. And when I realized they would be completing 20 years since the release of their third studio album, I knew I had to come up with a List. The List….

So here it is, my list of top 10 Blink tracks, and these only consist of Delonge era tracks that I’ve loved so much.

10. Hearts all gone (Neighborhood, 2011):

Single from their 2011 album, and sadly the last single to feature guitarist Tom Delonge. A tragic love song written in a usual Blink style tempo. And probably the best drumming my Travis Barker.

9. Anthem (Enema of the State, 1999):

What is this song about? I seriously don’t care. Something about a ‘home show’ and some guy “has passed out on the floor” and dangerous neighbor Bob. Sung by guitarist Tom like doing a rhyme song. A really bad behaved rhyme song.

8. Man Overboard (The Mark, Tom and Travis show,2000):

More like a cryptic message to former Blink drummer Scott Raynor who played a lot of the cooler earlier tracks. With Mark simply apologizing. The band had to move one. Music had to be made. Concerts had to be played. Scott you were great anyways…

7.What’s my age again? (Enema of the state, 1999):

The band’s most iconic track and a fan favorite till date. A song simply about all the shenanigans we pull around in our young lives and the moments we spend asking ourselves- “what’s my age again?”. The song is short, simple and honest, and then there’s this video that the band can’t get over, basically our trio heroes running around naked on the streets more like a promo for Naturism. Being a naturist myself, I too have never gone as far as the band has.

6.Adam’s song (Enema of the state, 1999):

A heart breaking song written down like a suicide note by a young teen to all his friends. Blink’s earlier work were mostly about high school crushes, break-ups, fart jokes, poop issues, alien abduction etc but what really surprised listeners was this brutal lyrics.

“I never thought I’d die alone
Another six months I’ll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You’ll never step foot in my room again”

5. M&Ms (Cheshire cat,1995):

What’s the song about?? Making love to yourself… with some help from your hand. Early days when Blink could just write a song about anything and have people jumping about in joy.

4. First Date (Take off, Your Pant and Jacket, 2001):

Seems that Tom was expected to write a cheesy summer hit, and he ended up writing this. What’s it all about? Experiencing your first date, dummy.

3. Josie (Dude Ranch, 1997):

Fast paced like many of Blink’s earlier work. One about “How-awesome-my-girlfriend-is, despite-I’ma-total-loser”.  Good on you Mark.

2. Carousel (Buddah 1994, Cheshire cat 1995):

If this doesn’t get into the list, then it ain’t a Blink top 10 list. Considered as one of the first tracks that was born out of jamming sessions between the young Mark and Tom. Just love that sooo 90’s punk tempo that Scott kept up with and Tom’s signature juvenile cranky voice.

1.  Dammit (Dude Ranch, 1997):

The reason I got hooked up to listening to these guys. Blink 182’s signature track, their most iconic riff. This track gets the crowd in a frenzy.  So revered it’s found its place as a closing act to every concert they have played (I might be wrong). Delivered in a signature Mark Hoppus’ “I still miss my ex-girlfriend” voice… Awwww!!! The song is basically about growing up albeit losing your lover, seeing her move on, while you’re life is at a standstill (Bummer dude). And man, we have never been tired of it. Thank you Blink 182.


Discussing Naturism

Ever since I’ve started blogging, it’s all about “My take on everything”, and you know what? I guess that’s kind of boring, don’t you think?

So here’s what I’m going to do…

Instead of me putting down my views, I’m going to let four of my friends to speak for themselves, let’s see what they have to say about a topic of my choice.

What is the topic you say???

It’s about Naturism

Not familiar with it? Well, have you heard of nude beaches? You know, the ones where people don’t wear swim suits but just hang out in their birthday suits? Yes, that one..

Well its not just beaches, there is a whole community of individuals who actually prefer to spend some of their time in the nude. Something they like to call the “Natural way”.

Whether its trekking, swimming, cycling, exercising, socializing, going on a picnic or just spending their weekend at home sipping beer, these naturists do it without any clothes on… No, not even a leaf to cover their private bits..

But, are the rest of the people okay with it? Maybe, maybe not..

So for this blog, I’m going to need the help of 4 friends, to voice their opinion on Naturist practices and their impression on people who adopt Naturism as a lifestyle.

As I wont be mentioning their real names, I would address them as Friend 1,2,3 and 4 (Yeah I know, that’s lame)

For some introduction….


Friend 1: The best friend I’ve got, we’ve known each other since 8th grade. Works as Senior   Design Engineer for embedded systems.

Friend 2: My classmate from college, graduated with an MBA (twice!!!) or maybe MBAs…

Friend 3: Someone I became friends with, recently trains at my gym. Works in advertising.

Friend 4: Another classmate from college, currently is pursuing her Master’s degree in Germany.

So guys, I’m going to put up 4 questions regarding your views on Naturism, and I expect each one of you to express your honest opinions about it..

  • Were you aware of the term Naturism? If you’ve just found out about it, What was your first impressions about such behavior?



  • If you found out a friend/ college-mate / coworker practiced Naturism, would you treat that individual differently? Will your impression about that person change drastically, for better or worse?



  • Such practices are permitted in countries like Sweden, Croatia and France, provided they are designated premises, Do you feel such a lifestyle can be accepted among your respective communities?



  • Lastly, if you were invited to a Naturist gathering, would you be willing to try it? 



So, there you have it, we had 4 people voicing out their opinions on Naturism.

Want to know, my opinion? I totally support Naturism. I mean seriously, what harm have Naturist’s caused to humanity? They are beautiful human beings who love to experience and express their bodily freedom. So be it… Maybe it’s an experience that we must all try for ourselves. Who knows??? you might enjoy it.

Now, I would really appreciate it, if fellow readers who came by my post would also voice their opinion as well.



A letter to myself…


“If I could start again
 A million miles away
 I will keep myself
 I would find a way”

Those are the last verses to the Nine Inch Nails track ‘Hurt’. While this particular track is often considered an equally beautiful and disturbing composition. I’m always left reflecting upon myself… What if I could start again??? Could I change what I’ve become??? Correct those wrongs???

And then I ended up reading several blogs titled a ‘Letter to my younger self’; a lot of fellow bloggers in the past have taken the time out to write such a letter, in a bid to reflect on ourselves. The message being – If you could communicate to your younger version, What would you tell yourself about the lessons you have learn’t so far?

So here is my letter…

Dear Younger me,

I write this letter to you, supposedly in good health, the only reason being that at this point of time, I would like to reflect on my past. Yes, I am You, but only an older version. Well, it isn’t easy writing to yourself, but I’ve decided to do it.

If you are reading this letter, then you’re probably 13 years old by now. An energetic teenager who loves swimming, football and video games (who doesn’t??), not soo much into studies though… I know.. I know.. you’l figure a way out.. cause I am You. But the reason why I chose to write to you, specifically being 13 years old is cause this is going to be the point in life where you are going to see changes, a lot of changes and then there are challenges as well, you may not like it, but you had it coming your way.

First and foremost, if I have three words to describe my younger self, it would be

Stupid……. Stubborn…….. Hyperactive

You are probably being stupid right now by disagreeing with me, too hyperactive to pay attention to what is being said, and you have most likely made up your mind not to change the way things are, now that’s you being stubborn. Hehe.. I bet you’ve face-palmed yourself on realizing the truth.

So, I am here to give you a little insight on stuff you are going to face in the future, only hoping you will do it right this time around. I know this cause I am You…

School isn’t going to be easy for you, high school especially, the taller guys in class are going to bully you for your height and image but you need to stay strong.  You aren’t going to get taller soon, it will  take it’s time, more importantly this weird thing called a “Crush” is going to take control of your life for some time. There is going to be this girl in your class and you’re going to spend a good number of hours thinking about her.. trust me.. you are going to imagine elaborate instances of how you are going to ask her out.. sadly that is never going to happen. Screw it Kiddo!!! You can stop thinking about her, cause she will never go out with you, more to say… in a couple of years you’re never going to see or hear from her again. Don’t sweat it though.

The coming year is going to be the hardest year of your life, its going to break you, those changes I mentioned earlier will appear, like cracks. Firstly, its how easily you can be bullied, then its the stupidity coupled with hyperactivity that repulses most of your classmates, its probably cause your mouth works faster than your brain. The feeling of being hated will lead to something called Depression, but you don’t know it yet. It’s going to be like this lump in your chest, not guilt, but a little void – like a hollow sphere tucked deep in your chest, its going to grow bigger and its going to make you sad… very sad. You feel like crying but you can’t, cause remember someone once told you “Boys don’t cry”. It’s going to keep coming back to you  time and again. You are going to start hating yourself, your face in the mirror, the expression people give you when you are around. Your grades will drop, like never before, you are going to hate school, hate your classmates, the girl you like doesn’t like you. Your parents won’t understand you, they’l think its just an excuse to avoid studies, you are going to spend several nights going to bed wishing you wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Here is the important stuff, read carefully… you are going to hate yourself soo much, that at times you might peep down the 4th floor at your school balcony and wonder if you should end it all??? Don’t do it.. trust me, you can fight it.. just repeat it in your mind – “One more day….”, I know it will be fine cause I am You.

You are going to make it to college, you will make new friends, once again you will have another crush and she is going to be a lot more prettier than the last one. Don’t worry, you won’t even have to worry about your image and stuff, she will walk up to you. You two are going to be friends for a couple of years, all you need to do is tell her what you feel… just be honest. That’s what she wants. Again, I failed to realize it, but I hope you will do better.

Your hyperactive nature can land you in trouble on numerous occasions, trust me, I know this cause I am You, it will cost you your reputation. Think twice before you do something reckless Eg: accepting a shitty dare just to prove you’re a baddass….. you’re not. You’ve got this ‘Nothing to lose attitude’ ; but you end up losing your friends- Permanently.

Talking about friends, you will be blessed with a few, but they make your life worth living. There is this one guy in particular, you have already met in 8th grade, and you’l be glad to know that your friendship is going to continue for a very long time. So don’t get into any serious fights…

Now with Chelsea FC, man are they going to go a long way from double EPL wins in 2004 and 2005, but 2012 is going to be a big year, just wait-watch and enjoy…

Now about relationships, I have to be honest with you, you are going to have a lot of bumps ahead. You’ll get into two relationships and they’l both end pretty soon. It’s going to be your fault and there’s not much you can do. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just move on buddy.. 

I hate to tell you this, but your life isn’t going to go as planned, every once in a while you are going to feel shallow, some of your life goals aren’t really going to materialize as you grow older. Several incidents are going to alter your path but you probably wouldn’t realize them cause your too busy enjoying the moment. You are going to graduate as an engineer but not the type you intended. 

Now some final pointers:

  1. Keep your friends close, avoid making enemies (No, don’t keep them closer).
  2. Physical relationships can be overrated, don’t jump into them, until you’re damn sure. Give it some time.
  3. Don’t take up challenges just to impress people, it can ruin your reputation if it goes the other way.
  4. As of now, you’re pretty clean, but once you’re older you’ll start watching some of that porno stuff cause of your friends. Try not to.. Try…. 
  5. Stay away from that Smirnoff bottle, what starts off with a little Pepsi, will end with you gulping down straight-away. You’ll have an accident and fracture your palm. So, you get the idea.
  6. Spend more time in sports, else you’ll repent it once your older.

That’s all I can tell you now. I hope to write another letter at a later point in time, probably to an older version. 


Your Older self.



10 rides you wish you could own??

Man has it been a long time? Yes it has indeed.

One topic I just can’t stop talking about is cars. Yep, that’s right.. I’m a Wheelfreak. Since I’ve made lists of so many things, this particular one had it coming my way.

Whenever I am with my friends on a casual discussion and we run out of ideas, I put down the question –

“If you were super fucking rich, and decided to buy 10 cars from any era which would they be?”

This is usually followed by a tirade of exotic car brands and specific model builds.. urgh.. must be annoying for the guys seated on the table beside us.

Well, to answer that question, here’s my answer in no particular order:

10) Ferrari F40


Ferrari has always come out with drop dead gorgeous race cars, from the 1967 330 P4 through to the 1980s Testarossa till the present day LaFerraris, they have disappointed none (well except for Ferruccio Lamborghini, but that ended up well didn’t it?). You’d only wish you could own every one of em but if I had to choose one Ferrari then it would be the F40, simply cause it looks… VICIOUS. Enough said.

9) Lincoln Continental Mark IV

mark 4

This, according to me would be the best looking American car. Yes, I know some say its the Cadillac De’ville, others say its the Corvette Stinray, but I choose the Mark IV. Just look at it.

8) Mercedes 300E AMG (Hammer)


This may have been the German Automaker’s first go at building a Supercar Killer  , and boy did they succeed!! Mercedes had been producing sporty coupes since the 50’s and AMG had brought out performance tunes in the past, but this was different, only that it wasn’t a coupe. It was a comfy sedan.                                                                                      What the boys at AMG did was force-feed a beefy 5547cc V8 block into the production 300E of 1986 not to forget the AMG suspension, Body kit and Gleason Torsen LSD. The product of which would give you a 4 door sedan that barfs out around 360 hp and does 0-60mph in 5 freaking seconds. Now how many cars did that in 1986?? Huh?

7) BMW M850i


Now the 8 series would be a very controversial topic to discuss. Which was better? The V12 powered monster gran-tourer back in the 90’s or its 2018 V8 twin-turbocharged AWD spec reintroduction. Well that’s a tough one. If I’d have to pick one, I’d go for the current M850i (not that I have the money to afford it).

6) McLaren F1


Where do we really start? Is it the centrally located driver seat inspired by a Le Mans Prototype racer? The 618hp BMW V12 engine? Or the carbon fiber reinforced polymer chassis structure (first for a production car) ? Well I guess, its probably the gold foil that was used within the engine bay that really stands out from other sports cars. Ask any petrol-head and they’ll tell you the greatest car ever built was the McLaren F1 (well most of them). Almost 25 years since its release, this frigging machine still manages to position itself as one of the Fastest Naturally Aspirated production cars. Yes, there have been a handful of cars that surpassed its record, but only by means of  forced induction (Eg: Koenigsegg CCR which was supercharged and the Veyron Super sport has a Quad-Turbo).

5) Honda NSX 2002


When Gordon Murray conceptualized the McLaren F1, he didn’t look at the Ferrari F40 or Lamborghini Diablo for inspiration. Instead it was a carefully built Japanese super car the ignited the spark. The first generation NSX produced back in 1990 was way ahead of its time, probably cause the design had inputs from F1 legends Satoru Nakajima and the late Ayrton Senna. I would pick the 2002 face-lift, simply cause it had the xenon headlamps instead of pop-up headlamps (Silly me).

4) Nissan 300ZX (Z32)


Best looking car to be sold in the Japanese Domestic Market if you ask me, this probably got into the list just because of those jumbo tail lamps, just look at it!!! They need to be in some synthwave music video. But its not just the lamps dummy!! Its the whole package, just brilliant, and yes, looks can kill.

The Nissan 300ZX wasn’t just all show, the Z32 release was available with twin turbo V6 delivered roughly 300hp (guess that corresponds to the model number 300ZX), did 0-60mph in under 6 secs and also forayed in the world of motorsports.

3) Nissan Skyline R34 GTR

r34 gtr

You don’t really need a reason for why this Japanese beast stomped its way into the list. Trust me, you don’t. They call it Godzilla, but I have read the Japanese actually referred to it as the Obakemono (shape shifting monster). Why?? Cause it didn’t have the razor sharp look of a Lamborghini Countach or the power of a Ferrari F50, but with its legendary inline 6 twin-turbo, all wheel drive system and a super smart computer telling it what to do and when, this machine could slay any super car back in the day.

Plus they wouldn’t name it the GTR if not for its racetrack dominance starting from the late 60s. The car was a symbol of Japanese super car brilliance, and if you are a Paul Walker fan, you’d love it even more.

2) Subaru Impreza WRX STI 22B

sti 22b

That’s 4 Japanese cars in a row, and this one was a Rally Monster. A road going car that was produced, with the only intention that it could gobble up WRC titles in the late 90s. Considered the Holy Grail of Subarus, the rarest of its kind, boasting a 278hp flat 4 that gives us the signature rumble that these Japanese machines are very much revered for.

1) Lamborghini Murcielago LP670 SV


No no no!!! not just any Murcielago, it’s got to be the LP670 SV. The craziest of them all. Remember, when I mentioned how Ferruccio Lamborghini’s disappointment towards Ferrari cars at the time may have been a good thing? Well, if it wasn’t for him we would’ve never seem Bolognese beasts such as the Miura, Countach or Diablo, and in 2009, the company gave out the most extreme car at that point.

Yes, I know that it’s successor the Aventador and other limited productions like the Veneno and Sesto Elemento are quicker, but then again your favorites don’t have to be the fastest. From numerous blogs and online posts you’d recon that this is undeniably the best looking Lambo (sharing that position with the Miura).

And that sound…. that screaming hellish naturally aspirated 670PS V12, Lamborghini have built newer powerplants but none that sound like the LP670. The best sounding car as well.



To Kill those MOCKING-Birds.


No, It does not refer to the Pulitzer prize winning, Harper Lee book To kill a Mockingbird. For some reason, as a kid, I have always referred to bullies as Mocking-Birds. Well you see, the name I’ve kept for such people is a play-of-words first part involving teasing/ humiliating and second part describing how they usually come in flocks just to prevent any sort of resistance.

We are bound to face bullies throughout our lives, even bullies face bullies. That’s the sad truth, but an unnecessary one. So many dreams, ambitions, aspirations all crushed just cause someone feels real joy in mentally/physically abusing you at some point in your life.

I’ve always considered life as a long, broad, busy highway, our life’s journey is spent driving along this highway and we are like drivers, each with our own destination. We are free to chose any lane, drive any speed, take any diversion, its all up to us. However, there is one catch.. There’s no coming back!!! every decision is final and irreversible, any wrong turn will effect you for the rest of your life. That’s why we have our parents and teachers to guide us, they serve as our personal GPS navigation. Now, its our wish as to whether we follow their route guidance instructions or not. Speaking of highways, we are all familiar with the presence of rash drivers, people swerving their cars dangerously from lane to lane, either to move ahead quicker or for the “pure fun of it all”. These drivers would qualify as bullies in the real world.

We don’t only face bullies in school, we come across them throughout our lives, whether it’s college, work, in relationships or more shockingly at home. The common fact being we can do very little to avoid or even fight back.

For this post, I would like to bring out my views on bullying and how it’s trauma could last for decades.

At School: 

When people talk of school, they usually attribute it to the best days of their lives. Good school life can also contribute to future success in many cases. With that in mind, the opposite is very much possible. Traumatic incidents that occur in school without your parents being around can leave you shaken and frightened for years, similarly a prank could leave you embarrassed for a long period or a rumor wrongfully spread among friends might lead to painful humiliation and stress. Such experiences could completely derail ones life, leading to instances of depression, self hate, and to some extent anti-social behavior.

Though I am no psychologist and I am unable to jot down the extensive symptoms that children display in cases of bullying, I did mention in an earlier post regarding my reluctance to speak to a particular girl in class only because of how poorly I perceived myself. Well this perception wasn’t truly mine, but a manifestation of all those jibes that were thrown at me in high school, from jokes about the way I spoke, to how short and thin my limbs were. Yeah, I have been a victim myself in high school, I’ve been made fun of, laughed at and been pushed around by my classmates. And before I knew it, I started hating myself,  hating the sight of my own reflection in the mirror, wondering why I grew up soo thin and unattractive and why these taller dudes were picking on me. And this particular girl in class was the ultimate symbol of my hopelessness, I was afraid to speak to her simply cause I had accepted that fact that I was too ugly to ask her out. But life wasn’t always this way..  my earlier school days were more memorable, I loved talking, making friends, moving about getting to know the other kids. I use to swim competitively in school, never had an issue with by body when I was aged 12,  matter of fact I wasn’t even aware of how skinny I was, simply cause no one pointed it out to me. But when I moved to a new school, it all changed, the scenario was pretty different for a 13 year old. Some dudes just reined supreme, they would pick on soft targets just for a few laughs and I was one of them. From comments of being too skinny to not being a boy at all, I’ve faced all these rants, and it had me wondering, why am I being picked on? If these guys are bad and everyone else seems to enjoy it then the problem must be in me, I’m the defect….

That’s just the start of the downward spiral, I stopped competing in swimming cause I was now ashamed to walk out wearing just swimming trunks, I couldn’t speak to a girl I had a crush on, I didn’t compete in several quiz competitions to avoid possible ranting. The after effects didn’t just stop at high school, I was still reluctant to speak to people especially women as I went to college, the thought of my appearance troubled me for years, once again I failed to convey my feelings to a senior in college just cause I thought I was too cheap for her.

It took a while, well a long while till I could learn to accept my image and appreciate myself, I did grow taller and healthier but it was a harsh journey nevertheless.

At Work:

I guess a lot of grown ups could more recently relate to being bullied at workplaces rather than at school. The battleground might change but the scenario remains the same, a particular co-worker/ manager just loves picking on a few of his/her colleagues. This could vary anywhere from milder methods such as dumping excessive workload on freshers in a bid to obtain supremacy, to more severe practices of dictating personal chores to be carried out by employees, not to forget to crude sexist remarks made towards a female employee and the sexual advances that follow. Once again we fail to speak out against it, only cause our jobs are on the line and we fear a backlash.

On the Internet:


Well, if its not school and work, then there’s always the massive endless world of the internet which probably is the best playground for bullies, a whole different breed. A bunch of faceless people who puff their chests, fist punch the air and unwind into an abysmal world of bullying, traversing from trolls regarding ones stance on politics to sexually inappropriate comments on someones Instagram post. Yup, we are talking of Cyber-bullying, probably the easiest form as most of them cannot be easily confronted nor reported. They are like shape-shifting beings block them in one form and then will take another, report abuse against one account and another shall rise. Social media sites are filled with them, a friend of mine recently shared an experience where photos of herself on Instagram was repeatedly met by disgusting comments by a particular user and how bids to block him off had failed.

In Relationships and Post:


Your probably wondering “Whaaaat??” Could there be bullying in relationships? How? Well yes… not all relationships might involve “pure” love and commitment, what starts out as sweet love could twist into simply quenching ones sexual thirst followed by brutal mental and physical abuse, while some end up submitting to these demands either to protect themselves from further oppression or eminent humiliation, others manage to fight back. But the wrath just seems to extend post break-up, from trolls on the internet to threats of releasing compromising images/ videos a partner might have sent. These just seem to be another face of bullying, The victims are left shattered, either mentally traumatized or sexually violated unable to move ahead in life, find partner or probably start a family.

So there you have it, I’ve just brought out how we as Individuals could be victims of bullying in different walks of life, bullying may last anything from a few minutes everyday to years together, but their scars can last a life time.

For anyone out there who knows they’ve done wrong in the past, just be informed, you may have caused someone’s life to get derailed, that your actions has unfortunately cased a Driver just like yourself, to swerve out of their journey on onto a road of dismay.

“She sat over there…second bench.. third row” (life of a teenager and his crush)

she sat1

It happened almost 12 years ago. I had moved to a new town, so new neighborhood and a new school… New school means new friends and well, new bullies. Yup, if you were the short skinny guy in high school then you’d be at the sweet receiving end of every damn thing that a bully has to offer you. This goes on for a while maybe years till you grow up physically ( while he grows up socially and mentally as well). But I’ll talk about being bullied and hated in another post.

Coming back to being short and skinny, well that’s at the extreme end of the Dude/Body chart.

Okay kids, let me explain what the Dude/body chart is. (FYI: I made that up)

dude chart

So here you see, if you’re already tall and hunky at 13… Well congratulations mate.. you don’t get bullied. On the other hand if you’re X axis and Y axis go low on both parameter (Height and Weight), then its “Houston… we have a problem”. In my case, girls usually give you the “Ewww” expression if you look too long at them in class, and the bullies just love you “Mwaaaaah” cause now your a punching bag.

Side effects? you start to hate yourself, then there’s low self esteem, you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder if anyone is going to like you. I loved swimming, but all of a sudden at 13, I realized how slender and mantice-like my limbs were. You lose interest in the one thing you are good at. Then to make matters worse, there is this Girl, she sat there… second bench.. third row, the first moment you see her, you just wish you could ask her out. Remember I had mentioned the “Ewww” expression, well she doesn’t give you that expression. The reason: She can’t see YOU!!!! She never noticed you were there, like there are tons of guys in a classroom and you’re one of them, how would she know you? You ain’t special.. Did you ace your tests? NO… Did you win a debate competition? NO… Did you win a fight with some big shot? NO… so bottom line is she may not know you exist. Or one the other hand I’m soo skinny, I just got filtered out of her vision.

But that said, you can’t stop thinking about her, the way she moves her lips while talking to her friends, her smile, the way she plays with her long locks of hair during class,  the way she talks to the tall-strong dude and you only wish it was you. You spend several nights staring at the ceiling wondering how you are going to muster up the courage to speak up to her, is she going to find you interesting, will she make fun of you behind your back? Will the bullies start picking on you even more? Your best buddy tells you that she is Waaaay out of your league, and you know it.

Regardless you keep admiring that girl, she sat there… second bench.. third row. A year passes by, the same story, I’ve just grown an inch taller maybe, still haven’t spoken to her. She has her own circle of friends, I’m not in it.. For us adults, the greatest joy we could get is a pay bonus, but as a teenager, the happiest craziest day was the day she called you out by your name, “Dude!!! She knows I exist!!!” Yeah, that’s the expression. Well the truth is she just wanted you to pass the attendance register, but hey!! she knows my name, so I ain’t invisible as previously stated. Suddenly your world seems soo much brighter, you start admiring the sunrise, the singing of the birds, the blossoming of flowers, all because she just called you by your name. (Facepalm bro)

Then there are rumors:

“some senior in high school asked her out”

“oh she is seeing someone, did they kiss?”

“I heard she got grounded… yeah maybe they kissed”

“You think they did IT?”

“Naaah, that’s not legal, her parents would kill her”

“Or maybe she did IT, lucky senior”

But those were just rumors, stuff pesky 14 year olds would talk about, we didn’t even know what exactly adults do, while doing “IT”. For most, it was just kissing in bed without our clothes. Now that I’ve grown up, I know there are several different ways of doing IT in bed, I recently wrote a post on it, How To Do “IT”? (Top 10 positions to make Love)   check it out  .

But for me, she was still that Girl, she sat there… second bench.. third row. She may be seeing someone else, but you just don’t want to give away the thought that she might like you. That she will see something special in you, that she would like to know you better, that several years from now, you are going to think about her and wonder if she ever found you interesting, and maybe you had a shot.

We grow a year older, social networking takes over our minds, its all about making your profile look interesting, she will get to know you better that way. She accepts your friends request just like she did to the other 247 guys. Mornings seem brighter once again.. Sigh..

Years roll by, we move our separate ways, different colleges, graduate with different degrees, get different jobs, I’ve grown up, gotten in a relationship with a co-worker, moved on with my life, and then I suddenly come across a facebook post, that girl from high school, she’s claims she is still single, been on a holiday in Pattaya, Black and green swim suit, splashing water while giving away the smile that nearly killed me 12 years ago.

And I think to myself, high school crushes are soo hard to forget, you always have a soft spot for it even after a decade. After all, she sat there… second bench.. third row, and I kept looking at her, hoping I could ask her out… someday.